Evangelion: The Untold Horror
by the coffee controls me
Summary: Post- Third Impact- what happens following the series. It's not all going to be humour, I'll give it a serious side too if you're interested. It WILL get better, I promise. Suggestions are welcome!


Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion and all associated, copyrighted material herein, in whole or part, are property of their respective owners. In no way do I intend financial gain from the aforementioned parties' products, nor do I take credit for them in any way.  
  
Now that I've cleared that, I guess I won't be getting sued any time soon :p The following takes place after the Third Impact (post-series). Life has returned to normal, without any memory of instrumentality's events, but people still bear the knowledge found during instrumentality. NERV still exists to find the Angels' location, and find a reason for their invasion, contrary to the now fulfilled prophecy of the Dead Sea Scrolls. Enjoy!  
  
"HEY! GET UP!!" The all-too-familiar voice rang through Shinji's bedroom. Behind the thin door stood Asuka- the famous Second Child, and the German godess of 'what are you, stupid?!'. He stirred beneath the bedsheets, draped over his head out of instinct. Asuka banged on his door, harder this time, regardless of the threat of ripping a hole in the 'Japanese door'. Finally, she slid the door open in furious impulse, leaned over him, tore down the sheets, and silently but readily greeted his neutral expression. A photo, coincidentally, fluttered from her pocket onto Shinji's bed, right beside his pillow. By heartless coincidence, it happened to be one of the pictures taken by Kensuke for money- no further explanation necessary. He looked to his side, his hazy view focusing gradually on the picture. He slowly made out a figure- 'red hair,' he mentally noted 'can't see the face, the back's in clear view. Strange, I've never seen her wearing- OH MY GOD!' He stumbled back, trying to avoid Asuka's view. In the confusion of morning, he looked around, down, and up at her glaring face. A flock of birds flew from a nearby tree, the only break in the silence, save for the routine "WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING AT? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT PICTURE COME FROM?!" "I DUNNO, YOU JUST DROPPED IT! WHAT THE- SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW?" "MEIN GOTT! DU HENTAI!! WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH IT ANYWAY?" At this point, Pen-Pen entered the room, out of curiosity- and probably to see another fight. He tried, near- in vain, not to make a sound. "W-well, I- until you came in, I was trying to have a-" "Wark!" *SLAP* "WIE? DU DUMMKOPF ANOMAL!!" (A/N Yeah, that was a play on the word 'wank', for those who didn't notice. Hope you guys don't mind. I might as well take this time to tell you, my German source is reliable- I got this from a German-English dictionary.) "Aah! What was that for? I didn't even finish my sentence and you slapped me!" "You say such cowardly things, honestly Third Child! Scham dich!" "I'm sorry!" *SLAP*  
  
Though muffled, from Misato's room, it was obvious to hear what was going on. Why did she need a NERV alarm clock when she had Asuka? Of course, the latter cost a lot more to take care of, but the fear-induced adrenaline rush of a morning saved a lot of money on coffee. Still, it kinda sucked when she was on night duty- but it was a sacrifice worth making to avenge her father and herself- and to save mankind. She groaned, lifting herself from her bed. Life was back to normal, and still painfully vibrant in the Katsuragi residence.  
  
Pen-Pen gulped down a fish from his bowl, while Shinji munched discreetly at a piece of toast behind him. Misato opened a can of beer. The resounding 'shhh' was given less than a second to escape her clutches, before she forced it to her lips, skulling as much as possible before she slammed it back on the table with just enough breath for her belching "life doesn't get much better than this!". Asuka was waiting for Shinji at the door. He stood up. "I'm done." He took his plate to the sink. "Hurry up, stooge," Asuka sung to him. "Your friends are here!..." "I'm leaving," he announced.  
  
Well, there it is. First chapter, review if you like it, give me enough reviews and I'll have enough support for a reason to do a second chapter, I'm done, this isn't entirely humour- more is planned, I'm going to bed. 


End file.
